Lender Nor a Borrower Be

Neither a lender nor borrow be. This is an age old saying. I have worked and yes, saved some money. It is for my old age and something to spend on something that what I want as special.

I am 60 years and I resigned in April. It was too much for me. My mind would be chaotic if I stayed for another day. The worry, distress and depression was building up.

People do not appreciate or worst, understand what is going on in the mind of a person with learning disability. We find it difficult to articulate and communicate our needs and intentions. Everything we say and do seem to be misrepresented and misunderstood, as though we did it intentionally. 

Going back to my financial matter. I do not wish to lend or borrow money. When I borrow I worry that I should be able to have the resources and means to repay.
When I lend, again I worry whether the borrower can repays me as promised and on time.
Failure on his part to fulfil the contract, even for a day worries me and I get worked up.

In this particular case I have been asked to lend a substantial amount to a relative.
This relative is well to do and wants to use my money for an investment which might draw physical and financial benefits to the borrower much later.
I am not a party to the investment.
Borrower intends to repay monthly from his present business dealings, nor a final repayment date is identified. This is as much as the agreement to a contract.

My current financial situation is that I owe to the banks more that what I have in my savings. Meaning, my debt is more than my savings.
The borrower is not offering any collateral, merely his close relationship as goodwill and guarantee.
This makes me think.
I do not have debt free money. The borrower is using my money to invest, or in simple jargon, gamble!
Assume that I lend the money. It is money that I owe the bank.
What if the bank wants the money returned immediately?
What if the borrower's investment collapses?
Honestly I will not be able to cope with this matter! What little contentment I have in the evening of my years, will all but dissipate.